Reading your own diary can be so intriguing. It's like reading a story, yet its your own. [CENSORED]__________________________________________________
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I read all about my past and there's this sense of loss that overwhelms me. A loss of innocence,
joy and a loss of child-likeness. I have to unfortunately admit that I have grown into adolescence and am no longer a child anymore. Before I know it, everyone will be all grown up. Wow. I wonder what everyone will look like in 10 years' time. All grown up. Nostalgia is the greatest feeling of all, and also the worst. ________________ That is precisely why I keep diary, to remind me of the past. Which actually makes me more past-sick and nostalgic. It's hard enough
handling my over-reactive emotions as it is.__________________________________


18/5/08 12.23 am
As I read my previous journal entries, I realized how immature, childish and materialistic I was previously. I cried over little small things that were hardly significant. I cried when I couldn't understand math problems. I cried when I didn't get what I wanted. I cried when I was confused. Now as I grow up and see the wider view of things, I finally realise how this world really is. Those little minor issues were miniscule, compared to what I'll be facing in the future. Heartbreaks, betrayal, disappointments. I finally came to a conclusion. I 'm too straight and dense. I think what other people want me to think. I did what other people want me to do. I trust so easily and adhere to circumstances. Truth is, I've learnt. One of the hard lessons in life, maybe. Everything still remains untouched when layers of dislike and repugnance are peeled away. I really look up to people who stick for what they believe in, despite of what others say. That's true maturity. So maybe I'll mature.



There you go. Now you know the true Esther.

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